I’m delighted to present “The Case of the Exploding Cat,” the first episode in my ongoing series of writing-crit videos.
If you want to write a book or novel, or build a writing career for yourself, you’ll find that each of these crits will point out mistakes writers make—some common, and some not common at all—and will help you find and correct errors you’ve made in your own writing.
This crit brought to you by me, with the help of volunteers from HowToThinkSideways.com who submitted work they knew had problems for me to crit.
In answer to a privately-asked question:
Yes, you are welcome to add this video to your own website, send people to this site, or both.
Here is the EMBED code (basically, you cut and paste this into your website, and the video will appear there.)
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CREDITS:
Writer Crash Test Series Music:
“Mysterious Stranger,” © Jack Waldenmaier
Music Bakery Publishing BMI
WARNING: Unauthorized use of the music contained in this production is subject to criminal prosecution.
All copyrights, licensing, duplication, and distribution rights are held exclusively by The Music Bakery (BMI).
800-229-0313 or 972-578-7863 musicbakery.com
The image “Explosion” was purchased from BigStockPhoto.com, and is copyright © Elena Vasilieva.
The image “Haunted House” was purchased from BigStockPhoto.com, and is copyright © Dunca Daniel.
This movie was made with a MacBook, Apple Keynote, Photobooth (the author photos), Screenflow, a Logitech webcam for Mac, and a Blue Snowball mic.
This production is Copyright 2009 by Holly Lisle. All Rights Reserved.
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Thank you so much for this! This is totally awesome. Please continue to do more. You have no idea how helpful this is. To “see” what’s good….what can be fixed. This helped me see where one of my scenes was ok in it’s description and some places it needed to be fixed.
Thank you again Holly. You rox!
Holly, this is pure genius! I’ve already twittered and blogged about the video in hopes of helping other writers who might not know you.
This is a great analysis of what went wrong and what could be changed to salvage that scene. Entertaining and useful. I also hope there will be more. I don’t write, but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying how real authors create. Good job.
Very useful and thought-provoking. I’m Second Drafting at the moment and your Crash Test will be vital in helping me to spot ‘Crashes’ in my proto-novel. Thank You.
Cool way to learn. Thanx, Holly
Holly: This is an excellent presentation on how to get past what I used to call the “gotchas”. My only complaint (and it’s a very minor one) is that the grey text on a black background really doesn’t work – at least not for an old man like me. I realise that it might not be fixable in this iteration, but perhaps you might keep it in mind in the future.
By the way, I feel strongly enough about it being a great presentation that I’ve bookmarked it. Thanks for giving it. I’ll look forward to more to come.
Fantastic! Your critique was well illustrated with this method. To hear it while reading at the same time gives it an added boost.
I learned a lot from this. Thanks so much for helping us neophytes. I’m looking forward to the next crash test.
Rahma
That was fun. Thank you.
Holly,
Thanks so much for this! There were several moments in my book that were crashing the scene into massive heaps of suckitude, and now I know what they are. Please keep up the good work!
I should know better by now, having already experienced the HTTS course, but this presentation went well beyond what I was expecting. It’s so helpful–so immediate and succinct and entertaining. Many thanks! I’m looking forward to more.
Seeing the original writing and how she intended to introduce the shape shifting made the whole lesson come together.
I felt I could also see her original thought process. “I want to increase the tension so another person is a good idea to introduce the shape shifting…” (or so I imagine)- then wondering why the scene does not work. I believe I could have made the same error as the writer.
This brought the fixes clearly into focus and is much more helpful to me than saying; ‘every character should have a purpose.’
The crash testing is a great idea.
Holly,
It was cool to see how you trimmed the fat and actually added to the story! This is where I am right now in my writing, learning to put in “just enough” and let the reader use their imaginations a little bit. It makes it more enjoyable for the reader. Thank you very much!
Your critique was right on and proves that sometimes less is more as long as it is well said. I’m looking forward to what promises to be a very entertaining and informative series.
Dittos to the previous comments. Having the lesson presented in the concrete, rather than merely the abstract, was a big help. Overall, simply terrific stuff.
Regarding the video, the text that I think was intended to be highlighted actually was dimmed and pretty hard to make out. I don’t know if it’s merely a problem with my monitor or display settings, but thought I’d pass it along. Maybe a different set of contrasts — or, instead of contrasts or text color changes, simply going with italic, bold, strikeout, and underline. Just a thought.
Great advice and very funny presentation. I’ll be watching out for more.
Very good indeed. I skipped much of the first read-through because it was a little tedious, but your amendemts I watched several times.
Very useful info. Thanks for your paying forward Holly. I appreciate you. It helps to see actual examples of what’s being taught. (So many don’t.) Thanks. Will be looking forward to your next crash test. Good name!
Thank you so much for starting these crash tests! I really enjoyed the first one and it contained a lot of good information. I’m in the process of editing my first novel and editing is something that I’m very new and inexperienced at. Things like this really help me find my way!
Because I am a fan of fantasy durin your first read through I went along with a few quibbles, but trusting the writer to give me reasons for the character’s disconnected behaviors. I didn’t even bobble at the last sentence about turning into a cat. The story was good enough to keep me moving forward.
THEN you came back and step-by-step showed me just how the whole scene could be lifted from an okay read to something that sparked and really made me want the next sentence, paragraph, scene.
I am a person that needs to have things presented in several ways and then try it myself before I learn anything new. The way you showed the problems and how to fix them is going to help me with my own work. This demonstration by a professional helps me to clearly see and hear how a professional deals with something that can be made much better.
Thank you. I am going to be eagerly looking forward to more of these Crash Tests
Wow! As a rank beginner, this is the kind of instruction I crave: Show me something then show me how to fix it. Also, I am a (perfectly?) balanced visual and auditory learner so the video format makes me so much happier than reading the information on a page. I will be back!
I think I love you. But not in a creepy, stalker-ish way or anything.
Thank you. This is the area where there was a big hole in my education in writing. I look forward to many more great explanations in the future.
Great job Holly, Not only did this help me understand what that particular work needed, it also give me insight into how to do crits for my writers group–a place where I feel we often hash over the same old thing, rather than make real and specific recommendations (ie: I think you need to work on your structure).
Holly, the link to download the 2 modules is not working..
This was great Holly. As I was reading this I could tell that something wasn’t working but I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what, or if I could, how it could be fixed. Your solutions were clear, concise and so helpful. This is a great format for learning and I hope you can fit in doing more of these…they are really helpful.
Dear Holly,
Thank you for caring to help aspiring writers – and doing it so well too. The editing for the exploding cat was good, except that she goes from dead-sure her daughter is gone to thinking a knock on the door is news of her daughter being found. Unless that kind of radical switching is part of her character, and unless the saleslady is going to figure in later on, better to cut her out entirely.
Holly- got the link working- problem was with my firewall- my bad! Great material… thx!
Hi Holly,
That was just amazing! You blew me away. Really helpful – it was also a very great example.
I especially loved the conclusion at the very end when you state all the Crashes! Awesome!
Could I send you some scenes for crash testing? xD
cheers
Thank you so much for posting this, and in advance for sharing future crash tests. I’m a novice writer and I don’t know what to look for in my own writing, so this is information I need.
I’ve subscribed to this so I don’t miss any crash tests.
Sandra
Fantastic! You make it seem easy. I’m bookmarking this one.
Great instruction as always Holly. This is absolutely the type of thing I have been looking for to help with my own writing. I do have one request though (like you need more to do), but I think it would be GREAT to have these in a podcast form so I could download and watch them that way, and use RSS to automatically download new episodes. If not, then I will come back here again.
You amaze me again, Holly. This was by far one of the best instructional sessions I’ve ever seen about how to fix writing. And writing is such a difficult thing to teach for people who can understand or “feel” when something doesn’t work but can’t explain it in concrete ways. The whole way you presented this was spot on and everything really worked off of each other.
I look forward to your future installments, and I’d agree in suggesting you publish them in podcast form so we never miss one
Clear, concise, complete – brilliant, Bravo!
Beautifully done Holly. I don’t know what you used to produce this but it turned out absolutely superbly!
This is wonderful, Holly. Thanks so much. I would just echo the commenters who suggested a different way of highlighting the problematic spots–perhaps a strikethrough? Just a very minor thing.
Thank you so much, Holly! Great work! Very insightful, indeed!
I get such a kick — and invaluable education — from your videos, and this was no exception. Keep them coming!
Praises to you! Your advice always helps me when I am in a rut!